Saga of Spaniel Boy
(The Hard Road To Get There)
A Prog-Funk Opera
Act I:

Dwarf Nebula is a cosmic being whose beard is the Milky Way. After his girlfriend runs off with his best friend and all his life savings, he rains down to Earth.

As he becomes no more, some of him puddles together and becomes a shimmering cat named Gene Poole. Shortly thereafter Gene meets the mad scientist Sir Real, and they build an engine capable of producing sustained jam. But Sir Real is forced to give up his experiments because the government swoops in and tries to take his secrets from him. Sir Real gives up on his life’s work and escapes to Academia.

In the process, Gene is exiled by the Academia Nuts, and has to find his way through a maze of obsolete grey buildings called Corporatopolis. There he meets the Flaxen-Haired Girl, who tells him of the feats of Spaniel Boy, a free spirit who believed the floor-wax of his master was his desert topping. He was last seen chasing a bus. The Flaxen Haired Girl shows Gene how to roll by giving him a hoop of light, but she must stay firmly planted here. She tells him she will root for him. He sets out on the quest to find Spaniel Boy.

Gene Poole will need companions, so he revives a monster guitarist in Sir Real’s lab. The monster is called Crispy, because too much electricity was used to animate him. The pair try to free the denizens of Corporatopolis from dentured slavery, which is how they are held captive by their health / dental plan. The demons Halitosis, Gingivitis, and Xerostomia vex them at every turn, but are defeated in what has come to be called the transcended dental experience. But it is evident that they will still need others to fulfill their quest, however. For a while they are driven by the one called Motor. He crashes and burns. Though Leary at first, he is eventually reborn through the help of Baba Ram Das.

After an incredibly long time during which they almost lose sight of the dream completely, they manage to make it across the Expanse Of Time through the power of song, finally gaining the companions they need to make it down the road, Hazy Creek, The Hojo Trickster, and the Rhodes Scholar.

They are plagued constantly by evil musicians like the Incredibly Vanishing Drummer, the Bass-tard, Mooey Importante, and the Dollar General. And just as the road ends, they crash and are thrown out into space, but then find themselves at a rock concert. It is here that, together with their new companions, they build a new jam engine capable of having them achieve sustained flight.

But they soon discover that they need a special fuel to run the jam engine, and they don’t want to use electricity because of what had happened to Crispy. Eventually they wander into a bar where a “dark eyed girl” shows them that the engine runs on something called Ephemeral Glue. She gives them some. She also gives them the blues.

The album has these events completely out of order, because it’s so hip to tell things non-linearly these days. Spaniel Boy remains elusive.

(End of Act I)

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